Committed Candidates-

CTHULHU

"I HAVE A PLAN for success. I fully understand the frustration and torment of long years of intellectual and economic dormancy, of our great cities sinking into the morass of decrepitude, of the non-Euclidean complexities of the world and beyond. Together we can claw our way our of despair into a new age. I am the only choice larger than the problems we face.

I implore you to let me use my unfathomable wisdom to change the course of mankind's destiny. Without me, the nation is lost. Without me, the world will be lost. Without me, humanity is lost! Follow the call of Cthulhu."

ALBERT SHINY

"I KNOW WHAT I LIKE, and I know what's good for you. Having been around the block a time or two, I see things no one else can see.

While Cthulhu may be big, I don't think he fits into our future. Nyarlathotep speaks with too many mouths and fosters too many messages. Abhoth spreads himself too thinly, seeking too many directions at once with no plan and no direction. That other fellow, what's his name, is just too dangerous to elect. Besides, who wants a president that only works at night?

I am the man for the job!"

NYARLATHOTEP

"IA NYARLATHOTEP! After serving as messenger for the other candidates for longer than I can remember, I feel well-suited to bring the message of the Elder Party to the mass of humankind. My many servitors are willing and able to tackle any task I assign. Under my guidance, we will move unerringly towards the future."

ABHOTH

"I AM THE ONLY true conservative. My goal is to return to whence we came, back to the more basic way of life. My whole is greater than the sum of my parts; such is good enough for humanity."

_________(not-to-be-named)

"AMONG THE GREATEST servants of destiny, I come whenever my name is merely spoken. So shall I serve those that vote for me -- instant and irrevocable service for the greater good. I will rid the world of the unspeakable evils which plague us. We must venture into space; the stars await. I will tirelessly work from dusk to dawn to ensure that this nation gets what it deserves."